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i've got four new digital collections up in the sistv boutique. swallowfield digital collection + bows + an amazing tin ceiling alphabet. and.. a handmade birdcage sticker trio that i adore. and remember if you're not a digi girl you can always print these out for hybrid projects too. enjoy!
creating catalyst 11 {your first memory} for creative therapy hurt. hurt my heart to be so truthful and honest and to put it out into the world for everyone to see. i want to say that i don't know why i feel so vulnerable right now with this out there, with you seeing it and being able to read it, but that wouldn't be honest.
journaling reads : there are so many good memories to dwell on and yet the only ones i focus on are all of the times you were never there.
i kept writing down my earliest memories when i was deciding what to create for this one. they all involved my mother, my grandparents, my brother, friends, our cute little house on burkhart with the huge tree and the ladder swing and the canal running through the back. but not one of my earliest memories involved my father. not one. i kept trying to remember him being there when i was young. i can recall a few moments that i used to fool myself were memories but they weren't. they are all pictures of him with me that i have labored over in my mother's photo album. a picture here, a picture there. but no memories, because i can't remember it.
and that is sad. it makes me sad.
it's also doubly hard because i no longer speak with him. this august will be 5 years. five years since he made the decision to not show for my wedding. 5 years since i last heard his voice on the telephone. he's never met his grandchildren. he barely knew my husband. instead of talking and being involved in my life he chose to walk away.
and so, even now. i have few memories. i see friends who have these amazing relationships with their fathers and i always wonder why i don't have that. why didn't i get one of those dads? he has his demons, i know this. he has issues, again, i know this. it has nothing to do with me, and yet, it does.
because for my entire life i have believed that it was because of me, that i wasn't worth that depth of love. that i am invisible. that i don't count. that i am nothing. it's a constant struggle, fighting these thoughts, doing my best to tell myself to concentrate on everything that i did have, that i do have.
and yet i still dwell.
to create the lo i printed a picture of my eye and face right onto blue cardstock. stamped around it with a de creatie stamp in blue ink. added the fabric and sewing. gessoed over the picture, stamped my journaling. the top borders were handcut.
some sneak peeks of work i did for my spot as the de creatie gdt for june. so excited to do this because i adore marcia, who i met for the first time irl at w-cha, but had chatted with quite a bit on sis. kit goes on sale tomorrow at 10am i believe. tons of really cute papers and the most wonderful stamp sheet ever!
these are the first two of a dozen i want to make with it all. i'll show you all the full size tomorrow... after the kit goes live.
happy friday!
xoxo
so a few months ago vibeke contacted me and asked if i was interested in doing an interview for the amazing norwegian scrap magazine vi scrapper. of course i said yes, after i closed my mouth from the shock. and although i know the answers i answered i can't read the article, but i hear from mari that a translation is coming... right??!? ;D
i sent in about 10 layouts and they used all of my favorites, including two that i created for october afternoon for winter cha. see... there's becky & becca & gi & me hanging out in omaha on silver bella weekend.
and my two littles. maddies layout "i would" was created for my mmm submission last year. it still hurts a little knowing i don't have that layout, but at least it's here, and that makes me happy.
and my favorite cup of coffe, a soy flat latte.
thanks vibeke. it was a pleasure doing this!
*sigh*
i love norway.
xoxo
i feel like i have so much to say sometimes, but i think about it too much. think about it over and over and over until i beat it dead in my brain and then it never shows up here. and i always think, when i'm thinking these thinks, that its something i need to share. but then it's gone. poof.
so today. today i'm gonna leave you with this lo {my sweet bama and my maddie bean, at 10 months} and then a freebie. cause if your thoughts go poof what better way to cover it up than with a freebie element your sweet readers can download and then use on their pages & projects. right?? right!
see those three tags there in that lo and in that pic posted above? i made them especially for you sweet blog readers, my friends, my encourage-rs of all things. as a little thank you of sorts. for the encouragement. for the special words you say to me. for your friendship. just click on the tag picture to download the pdf. it will open in a separate page. then just save to your computer, print, cut, use.
just a little token of my love for you. all of you. and, btw. they go fantastically well with my honeychurch digi collection. just saying. ;D
also... the winner of the pemberley paper pack is :
send me your addy via email marianne. i've got a scrumptious little paper pack for ya.
;D
happy saturday!!
xoxo
i went from making 3 layouts to apply to be a sistv fashionista to designing these beauties which i am SO proud of. who would have thought all this year with sistv has brought me. teaching in norway {hi girls!! i miss you SO much!!}, teaching at suzy's, october afternoon dt, a passion for sniffing vanilla infused papers, incredible friends near & far & in between, a creative outlet i adore and over 10,000 sisters who are incredibly talented, funny and supportive.
so... to celebrate sistv's 1 year birthday i'm giving away a paper pack of my pemberley collection + some vintage yumminess to go along with it. just a leave a comment by midnight friday pst and i'll pick a winner saturday morning.
happy birthday sistv!!!
xoxo
last thursday i was purging out the junk in our garage for the garage sale my mom and i had last weekend {it was amazing... thanks for asking!!} and i told maddie that she couldn't do something {can't even remember what it was now...} and she huffed off into the house in a foul mood. about 15 minutes later i went in to get some water and found this. on her door. which was closed. and heard her meekly talking to herself inside about how mean i was and i could just stay out all day.
dude.
do i look like this? really?
cause i have to say. i love that fact that my hips aren't as wide as they truly are in real life and she gave my hair some extra length and some manageable waves. and i've apparently lost about 90 lbs and i have been told i have a big mouth at times... and now that i'm talking about it what happened to my neck and torso and butt??
but the thing that got me was the talking to herself. because i used to do that. i used to get in trouble for lying when i was 7-8-9. alot. {yes mom.... i will finally admit it to be true. i lied alot.} and i used to be sent to my room to write lines. lines of things like ....
i will not lie. i will not lie. i will not lie.
i will not lie. i will not lie. i will not lie.
i will not lie. i will not lie. i will not lie.
i will not lie. i will not lie. i will not lie.
i will not lie. i will not lie. i will not lie.
and if i did the long line of l's, trying to connect the letters in the words from top to bottom {to save time} i would have to start over.
but the point is that while i was writing these lines i would talk to myself about how much no one listened to me. how they didn't love me, like me, care about me... yadda yadda yadda. and last thursday. listening to the bean mutter her sadness made my heart swell in love and smiles. because i felt and knew that she is mine. she will be my legacy. she will be me and yet, she will be herself in so many ways. and that, to me, is a perfect moment of knowing, and loving, that i am her mama. wavy, mouth agape, stick picture and all.
xoxo
and btw : that project i talked about yesterday? comcast delayed it one full day by deciding that today was the day they would shut off our internet and drive me and the kids go spend a splendid day at auntie sarah's where we swam in the pool. ate hot dogs and drank gatorade in the club house. we were mellow and free out in the sun on a 90 degree day. and i can't thank them enough for getting my butt out of this house for some friendship and fun!
june is going to be a crazy month, i can already feel the wave of excitement building as i finalize the preparations for sisiversary {sneak peek is coming next week.. yay!}. and, i'm also getting ready for a full day of workshops i'm teaching at picture me perfect the weekend after, on june 21st, blissful tags from 11-1pm {see above} and celebration banner mini album 3-5 pm {below}.
the classes are going to be a blast and those who sign up for both will receive a sweet vintage ephemera pack of papers and my most favorite vintage odds & bits from my personal stash. and... we'll stay and crop until midnight, and seeing it's the longest day of the year i can't imagine a better way to spend it.
you can sign up online or by calling pmp directly.
make sure you head back tomorrow as i've got a sweet little giveaway and a new little project that i can't wait to share.
happy tuesday!
xoxo
this man, my man, is in an interview with an amazing company right now. he's spreading his wings and pushing for a better life for me, for our children, for our little beautiful family. he's becoming everything that i always knew he was. he's learning that he is brilliant. he is learning that he is unbelieveably talented. he is learning that he is worth every dream that he brings to his mind.
and he's going to come home to me tonight and tell me that he got it.
this i know and feel with all of my heart and more.
razzle & dazzle them babe, cause i got your back. always.
xoxo
Posted by: Marianne | May 15, 2008 at 10:43 PM