lucky enough

the littles and i got back from texas on tuesday {my sweet husband is still there, helping his father} and the only thing that keeps popping into my mind right now while i type is the phrase "we're hanging in there". i read all of your comments after i put the littles to bed on tuesday night, all of your notes & symapthy and emails, all of your condolences, and i just want you to know how much we appreciate it all.

we've had moments of despair and i've been doing my best to try to look beyond the moments when i feel lost. the moments when i am missing my husband more than i thought possible. the moments when i still feel we were screwed out of years with an amazing woman. the moments when i still feel guilty because they were so far away and we didn't get to see them as often as we wanted to. the moments when the littles are at each others throats {yesterday} fighting and arguing more than the usual, because i'm realizing that while they aren't expressing their thoughts & feelings out loud, their pain is coming out in their actions, because they lost their grandmother, and losing their nana has been hard on them too.

nancy was so special, i just can't seem to think of words beyond that right now, although i want to and i keep trying to, but it falls back to that. she was special and irreplaceable and one of a kind. always happy. always giving. always there for others. always getting on my case because i am was horrible at thank you notes. but she was also always quick to forgive and move forward, all lessons i hope to take with me throughout my life.

right now i'm trying to focus on the good times, the good memories, and be grateful that i was lucky enough to have a mother-in-law that i could call my friend for the last 11 years.

xo

 

Comments

[Mari]

I am crying right now, reading your post. I can not imagine what it must feel like to loose someone you love so dearly, someone you call a friend, a mother. It truly breaks my heart knowing you are at this sad place in you heart right now. I wish i could be there, lending you my shoulder, making you coffee. You are truly an amazing woman kerry, and i am glad you have a lot of goods memories to hold on to. Xoxo

[lisa truesdell]

sending much love, kl. =( ((hugs))

[bettyann]

Sending good thoughts to you Kerry...be kind to yourself...you do the best you can...take care...

[Virginia]

KL - praying for you in your grief. Sorrow is such a hard thing. ((hugs))

[robyn]

KL-just getting on the computer for what seems like weeks, so sorry to read your recent post. Cancer sucks, plain and simple.
Thinking of you all. Try not to be hard on yourself...

[Leah C]

Losing someone so dear, so loved, never gets "easier" or "better" like people say...but as each day passes, the good times shared & cherished memories do bring a little more comfort. Wishing you comfort today & all says...

[Rach]

so in my thoughts......

[Diana Martin]

Thinking of you sweet friend xox

[ania]

*comfort*

[Allie]

Ah sweet child ... > i have lost both my parents over the past 4 years and you will grow from this ... i promise ... and be all that better of a parent .... i am ... hugs to you .... i stumbled over her from who knows where ....