live . craft . learn

creative therapy : my dream home

i long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever i find myself. - maya angelou

this weeks catalyst and the maya angelou quote i chose was perfect for me. perfect for where i am in life right now. perfect because for the last year of my life i lost myself. lost myself in ways that i didn't realize until a few weeks ago. i centered my life around something that shouldn't have become more important than my family, than my children, than the life that i lead, right here in this house that i live in. and yet, even though i know better i lost parts of me and i lost sight of the most important things to me.

when i was younger, before having my littles. before i fell in love with mike. i thought my dream home was huge. a wrap around porch. lots of pretty things inside. decorated and perfect. like a magazine. but it isn't. my dream home isn't filled with things and objects that i purchased at target or pottery barn. it's filled with laughter. it's filled with love and trust and support. it's filled with tears and struggles and lessons learned. it's filled with 2 children who love me because i am their mama and they need no other reason. it's filled with a man who has been by my side for 9 years. a man who knows who i am at the core of my soft heart. a man who will put up with my silliness and sometimes crazy expectations because he knows that eventually i see the truth, and i am not afraid to change my path when i am unhappy or when i am wrong. it is filled with my friends who trust me and can be trusted, because they see me, the real me and they ask for nothing more because it is always enough.

so this house. my dream house. it is being built on a daily basis. it gets tattered and worn. it needs strength and support. it receives laughter and love. it spills tears and sadness. but it is real. it is mine. it is everything to me. it is perfect and i will never, ever, leave it untended again.

happy wednesday.
xo

it was just perfect

yesterday was a perfect day. the kiddos and i stayed in our jammies for "lazy friday" as maddie bean has started calling them. something i'm really appreciating right now, these friday mornings when we're all here, me, ben, maddie. i'm usually scrapping or doing chores or we're playing games. this will be our last year like this, next year it'll be and my little boyfriend while the girl is in school, and although i am looking forward to having him to myself for a bit, i'm going to miss our pony loving girl. sigh. it happens too fast, this growing up thing.

in the afternoon the kiddos headed off to nonnas and then i had the house to myself. *sigh x2*. seriously, i covet those hours i get, covet them. i headed over to sistv and played in angie's round robin. SO MUCH FUN! seriously, i don't think i've had this much fun scrapping in months.

and of course the hambly dt call was finally announced and i am so honored to be the dt coordinator. i adore allison, she's become such an amazing friend and she is so talented. and the product is just luscious and being such a supporter of all things handmade it just makes me so proud to be part of such an amazing company.

we're taking the littles to see kung-fu panda this afternoon... cannot wait!

happy saturday!
xoxo

de creatie : gdt june : sneak peek

some sneak peeks of work i did for my spot as the de creatie gdt for june. so excited to do this because i adore marcia, who i met for the first time irl at w-cha, but had chatted with quite a bit on sis. kit goes on sale tomorrow at 10am i believe. tons of really cute papers and the most wonderful stamp sheet ever!

these are the first two of a dozen i want to make with it all. i'll show you all the full size tomorrow... after the kit goes live.

happy friday!
xoxo

scrap for a cure : gdt may 2008

these are the layouts i was able to create for these girls, the scrap for a cure girls, they are doing such an amazing thing, donating a percentage of all kit sales to charity. and i am so honored to be their guest designer for may. and, did you see this kit? all of the proceeds go to help support and care for baylee and her sweet family. so much good in the world. you can see more of all of these in my sis gallery of course.

blues & greens

a few months ago diane had asked me if i would be interested in being a guest designer one month for scrap for a cure, and of course i said yes. these girls are the sweetest, they donate a portion of all kit orders to charity, and they have some serioulsy wonderful kits.

these are sneaks of five of the layouts / projects i created with the upcoming may kit, which goes on sale on the first of may i believe.

i loved playing with it. there was a new company included that i hadn't used before, which is always exciting, and the fabric.. {{oops!}}... well i'm just going to leave it there.

oh, and that creative team announcement? i was asked last week before i left for scrap etc to joing the amazing team at creative therapy. i feel so honored. it's exactly what i've been looking for, a place to focus and create while pushing myself to be more real, more emotional and more truthful with my work. my first work with a catalyst will be up monday... cannot wait to share.

happy saturday!
xoxo

inspiration found

it's amazing, it truly is, to sit {well... actually i stand} and create with papers that i designed {more here}. i knew it would be exciting. i knew it would make me happy. but i didn't realize how full my heart would be when i saw others create with them... i feel so blessed.

cortney


becky


kristina


marie

and yes, i stole all these pics right from the amazing gallery at sistv. but i don't think they'll mind.

also, i know i'm super late but i'll be contacting my destash winner via email this afternoon. due to the nature of the reason why i decided to do this, to support those who might not be able to afford supplies right now, i've decided to do it this way instead of announcing it here. i'm sure you all understand and i hope you'll think about doing a destash rak now and again as well.

and thanks to emily for the idea, it has made my heart happy knowing i'll be helping someone create art.

and, and ... make sure you come back tomorrow. i have some exciting news to announce about a creative team i just joined. it is going to push me to be real and honest, which is exactly what i've been craving.

happy friday!
xo

odds & bits

so you want a sneak peek... don't you? my banner class i'm teaching in tennessee at sisiversary is my all time most favorite project ever. lots of yummy goodness from my generous sponsors; hambly, tinkering ink and of course we'll be using the new papers i designed for SIStv. plus there will be vintage fabric & trim. glitter, yes, lots & lots of glitter. and some vintage embellies and other embellies lovingly handmade by me, just for class participants. you can register {{here}}.

and did you see the other classes? if i wasn't teaching i would take them all!

also, in other news my class at picture me perfect was canceled as i'll be attending scrap etc and helping allison at the hambly make & take. however, my sweet friend nikki is teaching a class at pmp on that day, an amazing painted layouts class so if you're in the area you should go. i would if i was in town!

and, if you're going to be at scrap etc. make sure you come and say hi!

happy monday!
xoxo

and she did

a and b

something about yesterday's post has really stuck down deep. underneath my ribs. it's got me constantly thinking about me. who i am right now. what my life has made me. how my life has molded me into me. now.

i can't stop thinking that i am not living the best me right now. and not just thinking it, but knowing it, deep down that i am not. that i have been censoring myself. my thoughts. my me. and i don't want to anymore. i don't want to worry anymore about whether or not someone likes me because of what my "looks" look like. what size pair of jeans i wear. whether or not i ate a pint of ben & jerry's on the couch last night. and therefore, how much i do or don't weigh, which is what i probably think 95% of the day.

and i state this not because i feel as if i am being judged by others and that it is their fault. no, i state this because these are the first things that come to my mind when i think about myself. the first things that i worry about when i meet someone new. the first thing i think when i wake up in the morning and when i lay my head down at night. and that is wrong and twisted on so many levels. from my brain to my heart to my deepest truths. i know i am not this person. and i am refusing to tell myself that i am this person any longer.

so i'm making a declaration.

i'm making a declaration because all through my life i have never taken a stand, a true hard i'm gonna protect and do everything that i can to make me a better me because i love me completely kinda stand. so again. i'm making a declaration.

i will stop telling myself i can't do an "a" thing because i'm a "b" person.
i will be true to me.
i will love me.

i will love me. now. today. always.

all it takes is perseverance

today was an amazing day for my bean. my beautiful first born child becasue today, today she made the *s* sound on her own.

YAY!!

wait.

let me say that again... YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is a major break through for her, a task that does not come without three long years of struggle and patience, practice and determination. a breakthrough that we did not know if she would ever get to. a breakthrough that had me in tears and so incredibly thankful that on this day, today, i thought to bring my camera with me to her class. something i have NEVER done before.

some of you who have been long time readers may remember that last year in april maddie had major surgery  at stanford childrens hospital to repair her missing soft palate, which had been underdeveloped and basically missing on her left side, a genetic fluke that she endured in utero. due to this abnormality she has been in private speech classes for two days a week since she turned 18 months. learning to speak and articulate the basic sounds that you and i take for granted.

but today.

today was a glorious day.
a wonderful day.
a perfectly perfect day.

and i am SO PROUD of her.
because today.
today my love for her grew three times as big.
and now i know.

this child.
this magical, beautiful, radiant child.

has taught me a valuable lesson.
that with determination and perseverance.
through doubt and struggle.
we can do anything.
if we just try.

happy happiest of wonderful mondays!!
xoxo