live . craft . learn

creative therapy #64

it's been a hard week, i definitely won't deny that, i've been dealing with a hurting heart. it started last week while i was creating for the newest catalyst... i felt an old heart break pull apart. again.

but what i love most about ct is that i always, without fail, get so much of the pent up unspoken emotions out. everytime. and although i think that the words i wrote to go on the site with these pictures got a little jumbled due to my tears, i think the sentiment still comes across.

losing my grandfather wasn't a small incident in my life, but the man that i met right after, my sweet husband, was supposed to be. he was someone i thought at the time would be a blip on my life radar but he has turned out to be my bestest friend and perfect soulmate. that was completely unexpected.

my sweetie has been so supportive this week, especially since i've been a complete mess. figety. emotional. a little bit lost. feeling all together translucent. empty.

but i feel myself coming out of it today.
thanks again for all of the support.
xoxo

 

needing an inspirational home

#61 went up yesterday and i had a blast creating this one. for the last year i've been neglecting my home, not a lot of decorating or furniture rearranging {much to the hubbies happiness} going on here lately. but i realized a few weeks ago that although i love our home, the interior doesn't inspire me as it should. and i'm a huge believer that it should which is why becky's blog always inspires me {never mind that she's such a fantastic friend too...} she's always got some new addition or sweet new little vintage bit on display.

i used to spend hours and days rearranging the furniture and creating marvelous vintage vignettes with my flea market & thrift store finds. old photos and vases and collections of stacked teacups thrilled my inner vintage lover. but somewhere in the breeding and raising of two little littles that passion was put on hold, which is understandable, right??!?

but no more!

i miss those things {some which have been boxed from right about the time that maddie became a crawler} and need those things. they keep me energized and inspired. they make me want to make things.

but most importantly they make me want to have friends over; for a craft party. for a tea party. for a mama'z who playdate party. ;)

so when creating for this catalyst i wrote down some of the wishes and dreams that i want fulfilled this summer {**cough*cough*kenner road studio*cough*cough**} and tucked it behind that lotto card house. just a few to do list things and a few wishes about the whys and the how-comes.

it has me energized. i'll keep you updated as things move around here... ok?

happy monday.
xo

sometimes the hardest things to get out ...

... are the easiest to pull together. sunday was my first week back at creative therapy after taking a few much needed months off. it took me a while to really get my thoughts together when i was deciding who to apologize to, actually it took me almost the entire week. but once i started it all came out in a flood of writing that was so full of pain and love and hurt and in the end i believe a huge hurdle of compassion for myself. and, i will confess, i needed that compassion and love so much.

april 21, 2009

i'm sorry. i got cold feet. i haven't loved you like i should have been all of these years. i'm sorry that i didn't ignore them. the taunts. the teases. the names, the snides, the things that they, those children, did to hurt you. i'm sorry you listened. i'm sorry you believed it. i'm sorry you didn't realize that you were worth more than that. you were always, always, always worth so much more. you were priceless. you were beautiful. you were perfect and happy and one of a kind. but, i left you. at the first sign of trouble i left. i didn't hold your hand and tell you to be strong. i didn't tell you, you were priceless. i'm sorry that i didn't believe it. i should have known. i should have told you.

these painful thoughts about my bullied childhood have been on my mind, my heart and my soul for so long. especially now that maddie is in school and ben will be starting in a year. i can remember how i was the easy target because i was the emotional little girl who just wanted to belong. i just wanted to belong and feel loved and liked by my peers. i know alot of these things are also linked to my father and his painful absence. it's all connected. it's all intertwined.

i know it seems so sad doesn't it? but i'm not sad, truly. i actually feel like a little of that pain has been swept away. it feels so good to get the thoughts out and down on paper. even if i feel slightly vulnerable and a tiny bit scared to share the journaling.

being vulnreable is something i think i've hesitated to do since last summer.

but no more.

happy wednesday lovely friends.
xo

two parts build. five parts destroy.

i've spent today in my jammies. playing with paint, which was an utter disaster. cutting paper. collecting and building and ripping it all apart again. i feel so lost in my little corner here. unable to get and truly feel what i want to make, and i want to make things so badly. i finally felt successful after about 5 tries. five times i started something and three times it ended up in the trash. fortunately the other items {my creative therapy prompt for next week - above; the beginnings of a ruffled garland - below} i feel good about. i just keep trying to remind myself that the process is just as important as the end result....

i know i'm not the only person who loves making things that goes through this, the slump. you've felt it too right, i know we all have. it just feels so weird right now because i just got back from cha and i feel so inspired. so in love with making things and art. i think it's partly sensory overload and partly because i want to start creating altered art more. i'll have to show you the few pics i took of the 7 gypsies booth, because it made me want to make things out of old things again. it was my favorite by far.

i've also been going over to kari's year of color blog {i'm guest blogging there in october} to read and be inspired by all of the other amazing women who are collaborating with her. such an amazing concept really, each month is a new color inspiration and the ideas, tutorials and pictures are wonderful.

ok.... back to my corner, i may be able to crank out one more project i've been dreaming about for a while.

happy creating.
xo

on the third planet from the sun ...

{nutmeg grinder at peets}

i've got scrapbooking, project making and all things crafty on the brain. it's been a few months since i've felt this crazy non-stop desire to create. to make. to build and experiment. to dive head full in with every piece of my soul.

yesterday while mike and the littles were at the party, and i was home coughing up a lung {still am but i'm determined to win this one with a "no sickness is gonna break me down" mentality ...lol} then when they came home and took naps i printed out about 20 pictures. looked at about 20 magazines including my old martha kids, remember those? oh those were the good magazine days *sigh*. i got out my needle and thread and hand-stitched. i made three layouts. i book marked sites where i was crazy inspired. like this, and this & this & this.

also, the new creative therapy catalyst went up yesterday {and is amazing as usual} and i'm happy i got the chance to get another favorite moment down on paper.

sneak peeks for the november kenner road kit go up tomorrow as well as some fun news.

happy {*i'm now losing my voice*} monday!
xo